Wednesday, July 2, 2014

The Demolition Of The Block

So, the past few weeks, it's been a toss up between being very productive and screwing around. I spent my birthday out of town, hanging out with an amazing group of people. I came back and had to jump right into the day job, which wasn't the most fun I've ever had.

This past week and a half, I've been juggling regular work, writing work, and dealing with my own brain being kind of dumb. I won't get into the details of that, except to say it kept me from being able to deal with the chapters I needed to.

The last two nights, I finally managed to bust past that block and finish two whole chapters! I can't begin to tell you how excited I am about that, because we're finally starting to hit real plot now.

So I'm now thinking about how my real life emotions are making it into my book. The chapter I had such an issue with concerned my main character seeing someone she hadn't seen in many years--the other person didn't recognize her, and it hurt my MC a lot. All she wanted was for this person to see her for who she was and understand that her outsides didn't match her insides anymore. Not like they used to.

In order to do the scene justice, I had to channel my own personal issues and feelings into this scene and put myself in my character's shoes. It was hard. Really hard. It actually kind of hurt to do it.

But in doing this, I wonder if I'm making a mistake in doing that--am I using the character to work through my own problems? Is it genuine from the character or am I just self-inserting? They're different situations, but oh so similar emotions. Does this bring my character another layer of realism or does it feel forced?

It's something I think about sometimes...